the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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