dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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