he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
