turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
