8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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