I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
well, you know. whores of a feather.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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