im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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