I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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