U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
