She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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