btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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