His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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