He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
