Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
