ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
