also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
