Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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