can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I could make wine with my vomit
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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