And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
