The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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