I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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