Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
