bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
