I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize