Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This baby is an asshole
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
