she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
