So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can you bring me the toilet please
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
try to milk me bitch
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
