He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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