I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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