I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize