I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize