My brain says no but my pants say off.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
