did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
