Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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