Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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