Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
