Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
vagina is talking i cant
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
