She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
