So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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