hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
