Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
