you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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