So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
