Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
