Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
