Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
