tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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