Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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