we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
