You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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