it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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