you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
