If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
