im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
