Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Im part way to drunk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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