he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
