i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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