she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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