it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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