if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
