Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she looked like the before picture.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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