i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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