just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
