i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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